Impossible is nothing - part II

Taking off from where we left, let's focus on some more aspects of cinema like parking the car/bike. Well anyone going anywhere always gets to park his or her car right in front of the gate/door. No, I mean no cop (read pandu) or security guy (read chaukidar) has a problem. No parking hassles at all! Well the security guy even gives a wide smile & opens the door if it happens to be a restaurant! It never happened to me nor do I remember this happening to anyone that I know! Common, every city has a parking problem can't we be pragmatic.

Ok, now that we started with cars, how is it that a on the dole guy has a car that a well-to-do guy can barely afford. He dines in the best restaurants, has a beautiful damsel too!! Shouldn't this be more realistic like the guy eats & doesn't have money to pay & gets booted out/ beaten up/thrown behind bars/girl smashes him in front of the crowd? Sort of like it that way won't you?

Oh! The thriller ghost stories are one of my favorites. The bad guys are always ghosts (evil spirits as some would like to call them). They are always shooed off with light & are afraid of cats? When they can scare the hell out of a man! What the hell is this? & If you show them symbol of god they scram/yell out in pain. I never knew evil was god fearing! Good god! How many movies have we seen that the ghosts are pictured as gruesome creatures? Can't they be made a bit more bearable per-say Cindy Crawford? I won't mind being eaten!

It's know fact that ghosts/evil spirits can't be stopped by bullets then why the hell should you waste time trying to kill a dead one? Oh! I almost forgot mentioning the point that they are hell scared of water. If the dead were living why won't they get thirsty? Or is it only blood thirsty that they get? Probably they believe in the motto drink blood save water & beer.

One very interesting thing especially for guys; whenever something creepy (should I say scary) thing happens, it is always the most beautiful lady who comes to investigate in the middle of the night. Now what is so interesting for guys? Don’t be naïve; she is in the most revealing dress possible. Can’t blame the ghosts here. Everyone will be attracted to such a brave beauty!

Television (TV) & cinema, aha! Can't beat this I bet. Whenever anyone switches on TV in a movie, the newsreader has no other news in the world but to read out the news always concerning that very person. Even worse they give out a clue to a cop suspended for not being able to solve a case. During the crucial investigation this important piece of evidence was missed. Bingo! the news is true. Case solved. Cop gets back his job. Journalism at it’s best. Now I wonder why do we need a cop in the first place? We can have journalist cum cop. You see two in one effect!

Just continuing with the cop effect. How is it that, a simple revolver/shot gun has endless no. of bullets? I was under the impression that it can hold a certain no. only. Yes one more point here, the ammo is always kept in the most inaccessible part of the house like near next to main door. Where the bad guys are standing & waiting for the hero to get out of bed & try to hide. Can’t they be more sensible? Come, kill & get out. Probably it is payback time.

With guns and revolvers is another point that can be related to. Injuries due to battle with bad guys; enter emotional part of hero. After a bloody battle & killing all the bad guys, the hero is just seriously injured. Worse, if the good damsel is killed the hero starts crying like a baby. Now if the lady is not killed, she always has first aid (rather crude aid) to the injuries. Now the hero who never winced while being injured breaks down. Oh Lord! What all a lady can do! Bond movies: bad guys can’t injure him. Now don’t tell me Arnold never breaks down in his movies. I am talking about human movies here. Get it?

If I go on, I may even beat J.K. Rowling. But, that’s not my forte. So, lets stop here. I just watch movies to relive some of my dreams & fantasies; some times to kill time, others just for the fun of it. If all movies were focusing on reality then what would you look forward to? A balanced life should have everything fantasies, dreams, fun & reality. Life without any one of them is hard to imagine.

Impossible is nothing - part I

Lights! Camera! Action!

Welcome to wonder world where impossible is nothing. We sit dazed and watch the performers do superhuman acts, which were next to impossible.

Before we go ahead, let’s shed some light on the word Theater/theatre. In The Queen’s English ‘theatre stands for place where plays are staged. Theater is more famous as cinema. In the now more famous and adopted form of English i.e American English, the word theater can mean either.

We could in a way say that theater is an ancestor of our present day cinema. One of the greats of theater in my opinion is W. Shakesphere. Oh! Don’t worry I’m not going to bore anyone or myself with Shakespere’s works. No offenses meant but personally I don’t understand any his works. During my high school days, his works were forced on me as a part of syllabus. (Thank god my scores weren’t affected.). I mean, thou cometh, blah-blah... how can this be understood by anyone. No wonder they call him a genius.

Ok now back to our cinemas/movies as you may wish to call them. We could associate movies with fun & frolic, magic, fantasy, fiction so on and so forth. In any language, a movie is made to capture the imagination of the viewers. To understand a movie you need not be an expert in that language or understand every word said to get the central idea.

From English to Hindi, French to Tamil, you name it, in every language the person in the lead role, most of the times, does almost next to impossible tasks. Especially towards the end, when he beats the bad guys blue black. Hey one more thing that I missed mentioning till now. He does all this barehanded when the bad guys have complex ammos. Oh! And yes of course he is out numbered 1- 100. Need I mention that too! Some of you movie buffs would point out movies like terminator, Rambo, Robocop, et all were not barehanded fights. Ok, fine, every rule has an exception.

Let’s come to the point as to why he fights the bad guy. Don’t be so naïve, to save the beautiful damsel in distress. And finally the movie say 99.9998877999% has a ‘and they lived happily ever after’ ending. Can’t we accept the disappointments life throws at us? Oh now don’t say Titanic was not a happy ending… The hero dies; heroine lives a full life or the vice versa. Yes I’m talking of such things. They should be more in number. Per-say the hero dies fighting the bad guy the heroine lives long to tell her story…

Ok coming to the point of aliens in movies, why do we have to make them so dumb looking? Yes, we haven’t seen an alien till date but we can do without the dumb looking tentacles & huge size. After all size doesn’t matter? Ok It does in the right place & at right time. How is it possible for a common man to break thru alien code when the world’s top guys couldn’t? Ok here comes the best part. This guy plants a simple virus into a more advanced system than ours; this virus is so strong that it can bring the whole alien system down!

Let’s move on… coming to point of shipwrecks; why is it that a guy & girl are always the ones who happen to survive? Can’t it be an old couple for a change? Ok whoever survives why do they always get stranded on a remote island, not even on the world map? If there happens to be a tribe, why is there always a guy who knows a common language? Can’t we have some fun? Like killing the guy & gal gets married to big bad chief of tribe and they lived happily ever after? Uh?

If there are two foreigners in a movie why should they always speak in common language in front of people & suddenly change to common language that accidentally happens to be the language in which the movie is?

Contd…

My indecision is final

Left right? Right left?

No, this is no march-past command. Still thinking what is being written about? Well this thought was ignited in my mind when I was listening to the news. Still in the dark? Ok, this is about 'The Presidential Elections' to be held in a fortnight's time. I should agree at this point that I'm just riding the wave that's taken over the entire nations' news channels. Though this piece of writing is not entirely dedicated to 'The Presidential Elections' we shall try to squeeze it in somewhere.

Before we go further let's look into a few definitions.
1. Communism - A theoretical economic system characterized by the collective ownership of property and by the organization of labor for the common advantage of all members.
2. Secularism - a. Lasting from century to century. b. Worldly rather than spiritual.
3. Republic a. A political order whose head of state is not a monarch and in modern times is usually a president. b. A nation that has such a political order.

Now with this preview, what I see is Red. Be it the scarlet red or the Khaki shorts & white shirts or the saffron army. By whom is the country run? Where is the meaning to words like Republic, Secular? Somewhere down the line these words seem to have lost their meanings. Really?

We shall be back to this point in a while, but before that, my views on the current presidential polls. So is India all set to take a woman president? or even her opponent? Are they more deserving than the man donning the mantle now? What has been his "misdoings" that he's not getting the "required" support? Maybe passing a few bills that hurt some "king makers"? Maybe not passing some bills that would actually help their "interests"? After all "they" are the ones who call the shots! Or was he too well educated & intelligent enough to understand every move made keeping "nation's" interest in mind? I'm not claiming at any point that whosoever is his successor will/will not be able to perform his/her duties. But what happened remains the question? Don't worry, even if they can't, the "decision makers" will help them. Does it work that way? Well it does for the second top job of the country! Doesn't it?

A notable author, an Englishman once said, "Politics is the last resort of a rouge". Is it true, in a global sense? Well, I see a long tunnel. Well as long as it is a tunnel, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Hope so! Aw. Don't be such a pessimist (this is written by a software guy who doesn't care about warnings). It's just a saying.

So in a more Indian perspective what are we looking at? How is the situation?

Where so I start? Ah let's start with annual phenomenon first. Best day of the year for all those in love. Yes, Valentines' day. What has valentines' day got to do in this column? If you follow the buildup to this day, no need to explain. Just for the aid of those who don't here goes. The day is most awaited by the lovely hearts across the country with zest. Not only these people, companies whose products see a rise in sales too. Now all of a sudden there are moral police who stand up against it. This is not an Indian tradition after all! The Indian needs to be protected against the western influence. He can't stand up for himself. He can't think for himself. Can't allow such a thing to happen. They go on a rampage damaging property, creating havoc, and ruining the flavor of the day. Now comes the interesting part. All of a sudden political parties (who funded the plundering) come out voluntarily and say we have no connection to what happened. Don't worry you won't fall short of votes in the next elections. Half the nation never votes & rest who want to, never find their name in any voter's list despite having a voter's ID card! My vote is always with you. But somehow parties find a way to win with majority in their constituency. Whom are they trying to reason out to? Do I stand up & fight? Fight whom?

Now let's focus on pecuniary aspect. The start of the current financial year saw an increase in Inflation rate. It zoomed, it boomed. Prices of essentials skyrocketed. Created a perplexity. The opposition took it in their stride to affront the ruling party. The media coverage just added fuel to the fire. The ruling party came under immense pressure. Not only this, even the elections in some parts of the country like Delhi, Punjab felt the aftermath. Now within a quarter the same inflation rate has gone down like Shewag's batting average! The prices of some essentials still remain the same. The price of international crude oil is steadily rising. The Rupee value is continuously falling against the dollar. Most IT companies are feeling the pinch. Especially the smaller firms trying to make a foothold. So how come the inflation rate came down? Or really did it? Are these actual facts & figures being put out? Financial experts give guidelines that the prices of commodities aren't even looking in the downward trend anywhere in the near future. Isn't the second top job man a financial expert? So what? The "decision makers" need to take a call.

Hey don't worry as long as you are getting a fat pay cheque & paying all those taxes, you are contributing to the country in a big way! Thinking how? Don't be naive. Remember all those "Important people" need to visit (rather do I say take a vacation) places to "understand & implement" the same back here. Well, I don't see any improvement till now. Maybe as the saying goes 'better late than never'. Never???

So it is evident that I'm not pleased with the direction things are headed. Great. How about some union strikes with strong slogans. Option 1. All we need is to hire some brawny, some frail & some jobless people. Give them a minuscule sum of money, slogans & job is done. We can rest for couple of months; these people will take care of the rest. Option 2. We have a red army in our country too! Not just a saffron one! These guys have dogmas & swear by it. Ok so what if it is just skin deep? So what if it all comes down to vote bank politics? As long as they are at the helm of things we have nothing to fear. Do we?

One does get the impression the red army feels that every Indian must always be protected, his job secured from the wicked forces of finance capital, his cultural self is always in danger and must always be protected, his sovereignty must also be protected. From Wal-Mart, to media, to private investment in higher education, to FDI, they abominate everything the people of India seem to adore. Oh! Hold on not only the red army feel so even the saffron does feel very much in the same way!

So the question remains, are political parties today devoid of new ideas? Are they only mouthing the views of their political great-grandfathers? Will we be able to break the cliché? Has our own revolutionary war almost died aborning through lack of popular support? What could be the cause of such an abysmal performance from an unfathomable national talent pool? Is there not a need for us to think who is to be didactical? Are we correct in actually associating the terms (definitions that we saw in the beginning) with our country?

You think if you thought so deeply there will be a 180 degree turn & we will out perform & all? Give me a break! Haven’t you heard of India Shining? Haven’t you felt it every time the Sensex hits a new high? You really feel we are looking at the dark end of a tunnel? Remember the tunnel always has two ends & there’s light at end of tunnel.

Monsoon Ke Side Effects

Rains, I enjoy rainy season most as compared to any other time of the year. In our part of the world we call it with a special name Monsoon. This is the time of the year when schools open after a long summer vacation, people frustrated with summer heat look forward to cool off. Surely brings with it the joys & vivid memories of one's childhood.

Ok let’s touch upon the frenzy the rains bring along even before arrival. To what extent people go to make sure there is good rainfall in our part of the world? Wondering what I'm talking about? Don't worry, here are some: Yagnas, get frogs/donkeys married, animal sacrifice, fasting, so on so forth. Oh I almost forgot, well can you believe it some go to the extent of blaming the political party (rather should I say parties, that is completely different topic we shall see that another day) in power. Ah-ah my list doesn't end here, well it probably would have a couple of years back if not for the information driven world of media coverage.

After all the attention The Rain Gods get, it is time for rains!
It wouldn't have rained even an hour and the very person having done all stunts & praying, starts cursing & swearing! Surprised? Well how often do we witness this? Do we ever give it a moment's thought of why?

What have we the people got to crib against the rains? Well its not one, but many; Gutter system, Roads, Water borne diseases, Water logging, etc. Experts say solving one will solve all. They are reticular. So a unified theory of rainy problems. Sounds good. So what exactly are the problems like? Have they taken a larger than life structure? or are we blowing things out of proportions?

So how are rains & roads connected? Why am I putting down something everyone knows? The condition of Indian roads is pathetic. Even an hour's rain can have lasting effect on them. The effects can range from formation of larger potholes (yep larger potholes we shall deal this separately) to layer wise chipping of asphalt. Basically we need to know that there are very few roads in our country void of potholes. When it rains it forms water puddles. When vehicles go past them, they get damaged a little more. With time the potholes grow. What do the local civic authorities do about this? Just patch it up, forget its strength. No more potholes, Problem solved. Next time it rains, due to weak asphalting, starts chipping. New problem. Courtesy potholes & chipping of asphalt we have water logging on roads. Just another point here, whenever a new layer of good asphalting is done on any of the roads, either the Sewage Board/Telephone Dept./Electricity Board have a mandatory custom of battering the very same road. Thank you very much.

Gutter system. A very important part of any city. Provides the city with a clear outflow of surface water/rain water. But, here we can hardly find a gutter that connects two streets let alone the locality/block. The entire city being interconnected by gutter system is unheard of! People construct beautiful houses & cover up the gutter in front of their houses to use it as a small garden in front of house/parking area more often. So where does the rainwater go? on the roads. Who cares as long as it does not stagnate in front of my house gate, I'm not bothered.

No continuous flow channel available, leads to water logging. Roads & open gutters are easy targets. Roads with potholes have larger capacity than small open gutters. Due to rains the water table underground replenishes itself. But, beyond a point no more water is absorbed. Continuous water logging leads to high waters in some low-lying areas. Knee-deep water, open drains; people have lost their lives. People living in low-lying areas have to even evacuate their homes in order to save their dear lives.

Over a couple of days, the stagnated water becomes party halls for germs & breeding grounds for insects. This leads to water borne diseases. People who are obsessed with cleanliness, old folks, and children become primary targets. Diseases start to spread like wild fire. There is a breakout of diseases.

The frenzy media creates a hue & cry against the govt. local authorities. Committees & advisory teams are formed public awareness campaigns are held; all during monsoons. By now the monsoon weakens & stops. In a couple of days all the actions & plans of the govt. & local authorities are either lost or give the bureaucrats ways & means to fill their pockets. In most cases, the plans & actions to be taken never get beyond paper work. Monsoon stops, issue forgotten. So we are back to square one. The problem remains. It will raise its dark shadow the next monsoon. So till then enjoy yourself & we will have a lot of time to think what needs to be done next time round the monsoon arrives.

Here we go

This is my first blog with many to follow.
This space is created so that I can vent myself out. I'm forewarning, I'm no English expert.
The topics here; depends, surely I will write on varied topics from time to time.
Do watch out for the posts and feel free to express yourself here.
Without further ado lets go.